FOR the past few months for some reason of their own, the Teen Twins have been seeking out something other than Mum to call me. Mainly I suspect because with four children in the house, the word "Mum" like any other word that you hear repeated (shouted/ sobbed/ screamed/ whined and yelled) repeatedly, has lost all meaning.
And they, being as bright (manipulative) as they are, have also worked out that after 16 years I can hear the initial rumbling of an "M.." in the middle distance and deftly develop random, specific and selective deafness.
("Mum, can I have..."
("Mum, can I have..."
"Sorry darling did you say something? I've got to worm the cat/ sort the washing/ clean the hamster."
Child disappears in morbid fear of being requested to help with household chores.)
The Teen Twins have decided to circumvent this neat distraction ploy with a distraction ploy of their own and I have spent an entertaining few weeks refusing to respond to anything they throw at me. But stage by stage, little by little, it appears they have re-christened me Moomar.
Um, not too bad you might think, but on first hearing it I was put in mind of The Moomins and thought they were snidely hinting at my similarities to a Finnish hippo (of which I have none obviously). When we established that they'd never ever even heard of the Moomins (or at least weren't admitting to me that they had) I quite began to like my new name.
And then Gaddafi died ....
That'll be the dictator of Libya, despicable b*st*rd and all-round nasty piece of work Gaddafi.. Muammar Gaddafi and Muammar can, it transpires, sound terribly like Moomar.
I pointed this out to the Teen Twins. You can't call me that, I said. It makes me sound like Gaddafi, I said. They didn't say much except "Weeeelll.." and give knowing smirks.
They're still calling me Moomar.
The Teen Twins have decided to circumvent this neat distraction ploy with a distraction ploy of their own and I have spent an entertaining few weeks refusing to respond to anything they throw at me. But stage by stage, little by little, it appears they have re-christened me Moomar.
Some Moomins
And then Gaddafi died ....
That'll be the dictator of Libya, despicable b*st*rd and all-round nasty piece of work Gaddafi.. Muammar Gaddafi and Muammar can, it transpires, sound terribly like Moomar.
I pointed this out to the Teen Twins. You can't call me that, I said. It makes me sound like Gaddafi, I said. They didn't say much except "Weeeelll.." and give knowing smirks.
They're still calling me Moomar.
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Thank you :)