I'VE reached THAT point of the school holidays where I have no idea what day of the week it is and I've gritted my teeth so much my jaw aches.... though at least that means I've not shouted my throat red raw. Yet.
Things That Have Made My Teeth Gritted So Far:
1) The Man Introducing The Small Boy To The Concept Of The Squeezy Bottle Full Of Water.
Which may seem an innocent fun-filled concept for long, sunny summer days but in the real world means The Boy is living his own Gunfight At The Ok Corral every single minute of the day and if he isn't actually shooting water at you, he's pretending to shoot water at you.
I've spent 15 years in full anti-gun mothering mode (NO water-pistols... they're gun-shaped *shriek* NOT any shoot 'em up games... that's JUST like using a gun, man *squeal* *Peace & Love sign* etc), I'm not best pleased that the Small Boy is so gun-aware, he can see one in a bottle of Fairy.
2) Introducing Twin Teenager2 To Idea Of The Pierced Belly Button.
It's all my own fault I know it, I was weak. I just didn't think it through. *Shakes head in appalled shock of rememberance* but when Daughter2 asked to have her already pierced ears, pierced a bit more I said: "I'd rather you had your belly button pierced than loads of stuff in your ears."
Daughter2 has inexplicably taken that to mean she is having her belly button pierced and she's having it pierced NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW. *Hides from constant nagging*
3) Life As A Rolling Pyjama Party.
It shouldn't annoy me. Why should I care. It even saves on the washing. But it does annoy me. "Are you getting dressed today?" I ask the pyjama-wearing teens each and every time I see them wandering around aimlessly in a pair of jim-jams at 1.30 in the afternoon. And they say they're not. And they don't.
And I suddenly discover I'm more like my mother than I would like to be and make them get dressed before eating with the family *Secretly wishes could lounge around in a bedroom watching films all day too.*
4) Harry Potter, Dr Who & The Moshi Monsters....
Yeah, really what I want to spend my money on this summer holiday are small pre-formed pieces of plastic masquerading as collectible items. Daughters 1&2 are having a Harry Potter thang which as well as watching the film, wittering constantly about the fanciableness of somebody Felton, making me listen to said Felton's singing (what's THAT all about) involves putting a £1 into an egg machine for a small piece of plastic uncunningly shaped into a Harry Potter figurine.
Meanwhile vying for who can spend the most of mummy's money are the Third Daughter and the Small Boy - small plastic Moshi Monster figures and ersatz-Lego Dr Who figures (Series1) respectively. It is not to my credit that the Small Boy now has 5 red Daleks, 3 Matt Smiths, 3 Cybermen, 2 Weeping Angels, 1 Lizard Person, 1 Blue Dalek and an Amy Pond. I very rarely see the Moshi Monsters. I suspect she gives them away.
Still four weeks to go yet.... Pass the gin.